A Rappers in My Kitchen Baked Goods Special

I hosted my annual pumpkin carving party this weekend. I have a childlike love for the holidays and all the cheesy traditions that go along with them. Since Paul has zero interest in holiday activities, I started having friends over several years ago to carve pumpkins with me. He appeases me at Christmas time, but I’m on my own for the minor holidays. It turns out I have enough friends who love holiday traditions too, cause last year I peaked at a dozen people coming over to carve pumpkins.

And, of course, what’s a Halloween party without Fall treats? I always bake and make spiked cider, but everyone brings homemade goodies too. This year there were so many baked desserts that we couldn’t even come close to finishing them all. This means that there is an insane amount of calories sitting on my kitchen table right now. I have so many leftovers, I could have set up a bake sale on my stoop.

So I have a Rappers In My Kitchen special to offer: UNLIMITED access to the baked goods when you book time with Paul this week. You should even take to-go what you can carry. The menu consists of: pumpkin cheesecake, apple cider donuts, apple caramel pie, spice cake, brownies, pumpkin cake with cream cheese icing, apple crisp, and puppy chow. Paul doesn’t actually have too much free time left this week, so act fast! This offer won’t last long! But seriously, if you wanna help me not gain a thousand pounds this week, I implore you to book a session.

Oh and take a look at our pumpkins past and present. They're pretty cute.

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SACOOO!

I was recently at a show where up-and-coming rapper, Milo, performed. He had a nice write-up in LA Weekly over the summer, and I was super surprised to read that he’s originally from Saco, Maine. For years, I went on this annual canoe/camp trip on the Saco River with a group of friends.

I hadn’t been in a while, but my sister, Paul and I decided to revive the Saco trip this past July with fifteen of our more adventurous friends. There were a few semi-seasoned campers, but we had a solid percentage of first-timers. I got many emails before the trip asking me to clarify the ‘bathroom situation’. Our two born-and-bred New Yorkers didn’t even know how to swim! I can’t believe they agreed to be confined to a canoe for two days. I wish I had footage of Keisha wading in the river repeating “I’m in nature, I’m in nature…”.

It really isn’t that strenuous though. We tie our canoes together and float as a giant canoe raft for the first few hours. It’s a nice way to start, and it makes passing beers way easier. The only difficult part of the trip is carrying the canoes around the dam. Incredibly inconvenient, but pretty cute to see all these jaded New Yorkers get their camp counselor on and work together to get it done. Teamwork at its finest. At one point, even our resident smart-ass Matt was clapping his hands and saying motivational stuff like “dig your heels in, we’ve got this!”.

I had also forgotten about the frat party that is Saco. The beaches are lined with flip cup tables, people shout “SACOOOO” at every passerby, and mottos like “drink ‘em and sink ‘em” originated there. The newest bro catchphrase on the river was “dump ‘em out”. Seriously. It took us ladies a minute to figure out what that even meant. Naturally, I googled it when I got home and learned two interesting facts. One: the Saco River is in the Urban Dictionary. Two: that charming catchphrase was another Saco River original.

Since several of our friends that went on the trip are in the rap scene, there were a good number of Saco survivors at this recent show. And we may have all shouted “dump ‘em” when Milo took the stage.

eighteen New Yorkers go camping

hot dog on a stick, it's what's for dinner.

Tasty Keish & Mo Niklz do nature 

Prem does too

Indie Raps in Paradise

I’ve taken a little summer hiatus from my blog. Summer is always too chaotic and busy to have focused on blogging. Plus I started an exciting new job in July at an auction house, so it’s been even crazier. Even though Fall has hit and life’s starting to normalize, we managed to squeeze in one last adventure.

My sister works for a destination club and won ‘hostess of the year’ with her company. The reward was five free nights in any of their properties around the world. So we spent five luxurious days in a ten person villa in Turks and Caicos with our own private pool and beach. I expect her to keep up the good work and win next year as well.

We pretty much spent the entire trip by the pool. With pool floaties and an outdoor grill, fridge, and speaker system, there really was no need to stray too far. The only time we left the villa was to check out da Conch Shack. Apparently white people giggle at anything with "da" in front of it. Paul just shook his head at us. But more importantly, on Sunday afternoons da Conch Shack hosts the Hump and Bump. The Hump and Bump is supposedly a dance party on the beach, but we were disappointed to find no DJ and no humping or bumping. Maybe we were too late in the season for it, but at least we still got to feast on conch and rum punch.

da Conch Shack

Maria gets a little overzealous about planning though (she may or may not have sent us a grocery/booze list for our approval two months before the trip), so she had a playlist ready to go for our poolside listening pleasure. My sister has gotten to know a lot of the rappers Paul works with and has become a fan of their music too, so scattered throughout her playlist were quite a few indie rap joints.

Obviously, she included a number of songs off the Willie Green album, We Live In The Future, but there were also some of her faves from billy woods, Open Mike Eagle, PremRock, Angi3 and Toussaint Morrison. Turns out Prem and Green’s song, Jogger, is perfect to listen to while drinking margaritas in a pool. Who wants to jog when you can float? Our friend Ali was laying in one of the second floor balcony hammocks (yes, we had those too) and yelled down to ask who the artist was cause she liked it so much. Paul was flattered obvs. Another converted indie rap fan!

It's a funny thing to be thousands of miles from home in a tropical island paradise and suddenly have a song bring me right back to my kitchen in Brooklyn.

My Very First Rap Battle

PremRock had his birthday party this past weekend at a friend’s penthouse in South Slope. It was an awesome space, with a balcony that was possibly bigger than my whole apartment and perfect views of lower Manhattan and the Statue of Liberty. Seriously stunning. I was coveting pretty hard.

Rap Battlin'

Naturally the party was chock full of rappers. But there was this random guy who was going around, cornering people, and then just rapping in their faces. It was bizarre and annoying. Throughout the night, he managed to pester most of the rappers. Until finally something amazing happened. Prem snapped and a real life RAP BATTLE went down!! Really! In real life! It was one of the best things I have ever witnessed. If I hadn't been so enthralled, I would have taken video documentation.

I’ve seen a few rap battles at shows before, but those are usually done in good fun and are prepared in advance. This was spontaneous and basically two dudes fighting via rap. Instead of fists, they used words. Imagine a rap version of the West Side Story. Amazing. Prem crushed the other kid too.

That dude. I'd like to thank the photo
bomber in the center for making my
very first rap battle happen.

I think it’s because I went to an all girls school for middle and high school, but I have actually gone through life without ever witnessing a fight. This is the closest I've come. Based on movies I've seen though, this is exactly how I expected it to look. A group of bystanders all circling the two people beefing, while laughing and prodding them on. Except, of course, this was all very non-violent.

When I mentioned that it was my first rap battle experience, everyone was surprised. Apparently this happens more often than one would think. I don’t know how I've been with Paul for so long without witnessing one yet. 

I’m pretty pleased my first rap battle was on a Brooklyn balcony against a backdrop of the city skyline though. It felt like a very perfect New York moment. I think that one day, when I finally leave this city, most of my favorite memories are going to be of nights on Brooklyn rooftops.

Fireside Raps

Last night my art world and my rap world melded together in the most interesting and bizarre of ways. I went to hear a lecture on the art of the fireplace and see a rap performance all in the same space. I attend lectures and rap shows pretty much on the regular. But I had not yet had the two combined. Until last night.

Last month, Prem told us he was going to be the first rapper to perform at the National Arts Club, a private club in Gramercy Park. Obviously, I was really intrigued. The National Arts Club was founded in 1898 to "stimulate, foster, and promote public interest in the arts and to educate the American people in the fine arts". Some of the club’s more famous members over the years have been J. Pierpont Morgan, Frederic Remington, Mark Twain, Robert Redford, three U.S. presidents, the list goes on...

Walking through the doors of this Victorian Gothic Revival building, with all its intricate woodwork, moldings, and beautiful stained glass, I had to wonder how a rapper landed a gig at one of the notable cultural landmarks of NYC. Not because I don’t think rap is culturally significant, but usually the people in charge of such clubs don’t think so. My expectations were confirmed when we entered the room and saw the crowd- a relatively older audience all wearing business attire.

Prem’s childhood friend Christian Herrmann is a stonemason who has been doing renovations at the NAC for the past year. Since he recently restored the chimney, he was asked to give a lecture on the topic of fireplaces. He did a run through on the history and evolution of the fireplace, and then showed some of his own masonry work, including time lapse photography of his restoration of the chimney. He ended with a discussion about the fireplace as a communal space where people have gathered around for hundreds of years to talk, eat, and perform.

And this is when the rap show started. Prem wrote some verses that he delivered alongside a cellist. The setting and the cello made it feel like a poetry reading, but delivered by a rapper. I was pleased to see an older gentleman in a bow tie bobbing his head to the beat. But I loved the moments where the two worlds didn't quite line up.

After he performed, in true rap club fashion, Prem asked everyone to raise their drinks for Christian. I looked around at the slightly confused older folks lifting their champagne glasses in the air, probably wondering why they weren't applauding instead. After the music ended, a member of the NAC took the lectern and clearly a bit flustered, exclaimed “Wow, that was something” before he went on to thank everyone. I’m pretty sure that was his first time seeing a rap performance ever.

It was a bit unconventional, but I actually thought it was lovely, especially in the context of the fireplace. I imagine many a distinguished person has gathered around the fireplace at the NAC to hear musicians sing and play the piano or harp or something charming like that. It’s time to break down some barriers- for both worlds. Getting to hear some fireside raps set to a cello seemed like an oddly fitting tribute to a restored 19th century fireplace in a 21st century world.

Also, I want Christian to build me a fireplace when I have a house one day. Check out his amazing portfolio.

Adventures at Spa Castle

For years, almost every single one of my lady friends and I have talked about making the trek to Spa Castle in Flushing, Queens. And finally, this past weekend, a dream came true! We went for my friend Beth’s bachelorette festivities. We imagined it to be something in between one of those cheesy all inclusive resorts (think Sandals) and a mall. It did not disappoint.

A $45 entrance fee grants you access to a four floor complex of saunas, salons, restaurants, buffets, and a rooftop of pools, including one with a swim-up bar. Of course, the food and salon services are extra, but you get these watch bands that you swipe to tally up all the charges. Totally dangerous. After obtaining our watches, going through a security checkpoint (is this normal?), and years of built up expectations, we had finally made it!

The weirdest/most hilarious part of the whole experience is the one-size-fits-all “uniforms” they force everyone to wear around the complex when not in the pools. The uniforms are knee-length, elastic waistband cotton shorts and t-shirts with “Spa Castle” on them. Or if you’re 5 feet tall like my friend Deb, the shorts are capri length. Oh and of course the women's uniforms are pink and the men's are blue. We all looked like prisoners of Spa Castle roaming from floor to floor and standing in line at the Korean buffet in our ill fitting, matching uniforms.

We spent most of the day at the rooftop pools. The pools are lined with built in chairs with massage jets, which are awesome but a little too powerful. Luckily there are handlebars to hold on to so you can stay put. And then there is also the jacuzzi that we coined the “mountain dew pool” cause of the bright neon green lights that make it look like a giant vat of bubbling mountain dew.

The pools are simultaneously super family friendly and really sleazy. In spite of the “Public Morals” signs posted around Spa Castle, which list rules like “no overt public displays of affection”, we saw many couples making out in the spa pools. There were more than a few times we suspected something was going on underneath the water that we couldn't see. The condom wrapper that floated by may have confirmed our suspicions...

Spa Castle is open 6am-12am every day, so you can really make a day of it. They even have a nap room filled with beds, which was actually at capacity when we peeked in. People really need to get their $45 worth of Spa Castle, ya know? As for us, after six hours there, we staggered out exhausted and hungover from our daiquiris at the swim up bar.

Spa Castle surpassed all my expectations. It was way more ridiculous than I could have ever imagined. Would I recommend it to others? Absolutely.

Rappers At My Wedding

One of my favorite things about the wedding photos was seeing our worlds come together and how perfectly everyone got along. Captured in the pictures was so much joy and legitimate happiness for us. While this makes sense for a wedding, you have to keep in mind that I have a conservative, Italian family who is not always so open minded. Paul and I were more than a little nervous about our families colliding catastrophically at the wedding. But instead, everyone got along seamlessly. Even racist grandma was caught beaming while holding onto the arm of Paul's cousin as she watched us cut our wedding cake. Paul and I joke that our love helped the world get a little less racist that day.

Obviously, with Paul's line of work, many of his closest friends are rappers. Considering that the older generations are not always a fan of 'that rap music', I also loved seeing pictures and hearing the stories of rappers interacting with our families. Apparently, PremRock dubbed himself "the Merrill whisperer" that night after dancing with both my mom AND my grandma. 

Going through the wedding photos, I found some of those captured moments, as well as a few other gems:

Rappers That Break It Down With Your Mom (rap name: S.Breeze)

Rappers That Wanna Know If They Can Cut In (dj name: Mo Niklz)

Rappers That Are The Merrill Whisperer (rap name: PremRock)

Rappers That Take Their Beers Seriously (rap name: Uncommon Nasa)

Rappers That Are Also Your Wedding DJ (rap name: Tah Phrum Duh Bush)

Rappers That Are Also Vikings (rap name: Pastense)

Rappers That Keep Their Identity Hidden Even In Wedding Pictures (rap name: Billy Woods)

Rappers That Schmooze With The Rents (rap name: PremRock)

Rappers That Your Mama Is Gonna Love (rap name: Pastense)