My Very First Rap Battle

PremRock had his birthday party this past weekend at a friend’s penthouse in South Slope. It was an awesome space, with a balcony that was possibly bigger than my whole apartment and perfect views of lower Manhattan and the Statue of Liberty. Seriously stunning. I was coveting pretty hard.

Rap Battlin'

Naturally the party was chock full of rappers. But there was this random guy who was going around, cornering people, and then just rapping in their faces. It was bizarre and annoying. Throughout the night, he managed to pester most of the rappers. Until finally something amazing happened. Prem snapped and a real life RAP BATTLE went down!! Really! In real life! It was one of the best things I have ever witnessed. If I hadn't been so enthralled, I would have taken video documentation.

I’ve seen a few rap battles at shows before, but those are usually done in good fun and are prepared in advance. This was spontaneous and basically two dudes fighting via rap. Instead of fists, they used words. Imagine a rap version of the West Side Story. Amazing. Prem crushed the other kid too.

That dude. I'd like to thank the photo
bomber in the center for making my
very first rap battle happen.

I think it’s because I went to an all girls school for middle and high school, but I have actually gone through life without ever witnessing a fight. This is the closest I've come. Based on movies I've seen though, this is exactly how I expected it to look. A group of bystanders all circling the two people beefing, while laughing and prodding them on. Except, of course, this was all very non-violent.

When I mentioned that it was my first rap battle experience, everyone was surprised. Apparently this happens more often than one would think. I don’t know how I've been with Paul for so long without witnessing one yet. 

I’m pretty pleased my first rap battle was on a Brooklyn balcony against a backdrop of the city skyline though. It felt like a very perfect New York moment. I think that one day, when I finally leave this city, most of my favorite memories are going to be of nights on Brooklyn rooftops.

The Fanny Pack Guy At Our Wedding

Since it’s been a year, Paul and I figured we should finally choose pictures for our wedding photo album. I've put this off for so long now. This should be a fun task, but when you plan a wedding for so long and so obsessively, once it’s over, you kind of don’t want to do any more work on it.

But it’s been nice to go through the pictures again and reminisce. While doing that, we kept laughing at how many pictures we found where ‘fanny pack guy’, as we have taken to calling him, is lurking in the background. FPG was the groundskeeper for the church. He was supposed to open it up and make sure everything was set up properly, but somehow he managed to become a notorious character at our wedding.

We had a series of mishaps that led to FPG’s infamy. Everyone tells you that no matter how much you plan, there will always be things that go wrong. This is truth. The zipper on my sisters dress busted literally right before the bridesmaids were supposed to walk down the aisle. My amazing bridesmaids managed to sew her back in, but, of course, this delayed the wedding. And this is where FPG enters...

Our parents had already been escorted to their seats and the runner had just been laid down, but FPG decides to stop the organist and walk down the aisle to inform the priest of the situation. In his khaki shorts, half-tucked shirt, and fanny pack. Oh, yes. Poor Paul had that split second of wondering if he was getting stood up at the alter.

Then FPG tried to rush the ceremony. It was like a tug of war between my coordinator and FPG. He was yelling at the bridesmaids to “go” before their cues, and she was telling them “no”. In his effort to pick up the pace, he signaled the organist to start the wedding march early. So everyone in the church stands up expecting me to walk out, but it’s my sister instead.

FPG was a real jerk. He apparently made jokes to Paul and the groomsmen before the ceremony about how most marriages end in divorce. And he started to turn off the lights in the church as our guests were still leaving. Apparently FPG had places to go, and we were slowing him down.

Lessons learned: Always read product reviews. I later found numerous complaints about the bridesmaid dresses having faulty zippers. Always carry a spare needle and thread in case of emergency. And lastly, if a guy wearing a fanny pack shows up, well, you just have to roll with the punches. There’s nothing you can do when someone thinks it’s OK to wear a fanny pack at your wedding.

Kitchen Evacuation - Exploring Brooklyn By Bike

Now that it’s finally warm, I’ve been riding my bike to work. My ride is almost entirely through Prospect Park. I live just north of the park, and my job is just south of it. My commute to work used to be the worst part of my day, and now it’s the best. I work in Ditmas Park, an area in Brooklyn with beautiful Victorian houses, and in the Spring when everything’s in bloom, I’m convinced it's the most beautiful neighborhood in all of NYC.

I have a rusty pink bike with a basket. And I love it. Riding the subway everywhere can be disorienting, and I lose spatial understanding of how the city is laid out. I try to take buses when possible for that reason, so I can see where I’m going. The other perk to knowing how to navigate the streets is being able to direct cabbies. For the most part, cab drivers hate taking people to Brooklyn and always claim not to know how to get there. I always love being able to tell them that, yes, I do know how to get home. I’ve come to relish seeing that flash of annoyance on their face when they realize they can’t bullshit me and tell me to find another cab.

Paul had a rapper in the kitchen this Sunday, so I cleared out for the day. I biked to Brooklyn Heights to meet my friend Natalie at Colonie for brunch. It’s one of those cute farm-to-table restaurants. They have an open kitchen, so we sat at the counter to watch them cook. When we asked what the ramps were on the menu, the chef came over and explained that they are a type of wild leek with mild garlic and onion flavors. They apparently forage for them upstate. I love this current restaurant fad of foraging for ingredients. He even gave us some sprigs of ramp to take home and use in our own cooking.

After brunch, I biked to my friend Michelle’s place nearby and from there we went to Long Island City for her friends Cinco de Mayo party. I convinced myself that since I was biking home, it was okay to gorge myself on tacos, sopapillas, tres leches cake, etc. In general, I have this rule that calories don’t count at parties.

As I biked home full and happy at the end of the day, I wondered how I didn’t get a bike sooner. I love not having to pay the MTA for a monthly subway pass. I love how much faster it takes to get places than with the subway. I love that I can explore areas of Brooklyn that used to be hard to get to because of limited subway access. I love the freedom. For me, having a bike in Brooklyn really does improve quality of life.