Pack the Converse, Wear the Jordans: A Helpful Guide to Packing for Rap Tour

Paul has been on tour for the past three and a half weeks doing shows all over the middle of the country. Apparently the crowds are great for indie hip hop in places like Montana and North Dakota because no one ever makes it out to see them.

When it comes to packing for tour though, I generally lend a helping hand. Paul has questionable packing skills. One time we went to a wedding and he forgot to bring his suit pants. Packed the jacket. Left the pants. Being a former Girl Scout, I consider myself an expert packer. Two weeks at summer camp with just one trunk means I can certainly pack for three weeks of tour with one bag and a road case. I got this.

In his effort to pack light, Paul decided that he was only going to pack one pair of shoes. One pair! I mean these are shoes. You gotta have ‘em. What happens if something happens to his only pair of shoes on the road. He’s going to have to find a Foot Locker in the vast emptiness that is Wyoming? I set him straight. Pack the Converse, wear the Jordans.

In addition to clothes and gear, he also had to pack merch. Paul decided to get custom wood USB drives containing six of his albums. He also brought some leftover CD’s from past collaborations, but realistically, CD’s are already outdated. A friend of mine bought two PremRock CD’s at one of his shows and then realized she had no way to listen to them. Her computer doesn't have a CD drive to add them to her iTunes, and no one has CD players or discmans anymore. So Paul decided on some cool USB drives. They take up less space and can be reused after the music is uploaded.

I also convinced Paul to pack a tote bag. This was a HUGE triumph for me. Paul does not carry totes. I always ask him to bring one when he goes to the grocery store so we don’t end up using a million plastic bags (why do they double bag paper towels?), and he usually sighs and grabs his backpack instead. Since he had to pack other things in his backpack, he was going to use plastic bags to carry his merch into the clubs each night. First, plastic bags look bootleg. Second, they tear and fall apart. Paul was eventually persuaded that a tote bag was the most efficient and logical way to carry his merch.

Paul sent me amazing pics from the road

Paul also has some of his own great tips for touring. After doing this a couple of times, he figured out a few tricks. Laminate your merch sign. You need to have a price list printed for when someone else is manning the merch table. And considering it’s going to be on the road, you can’t print a new one every time someone spills a beer on it or when it inevitably tears. Go to Kinkos and laminate.

He also got a Square reader. We live in a time where literally anyone can accept credit cards. Which is why it annoys me so much when restaurants in NYC are cash only. It is easy, efficient and only takes a small percentage of your profits. It seems worth it.

Although touring on the indie level is never easy, it seems that if you pack efficiently, it can improve the experience. Especially when you have three guys driving twelve hour stretches through the middle of nowhere with all of their stuff in a sedan.

A Suite For Souled People

You really can change the world if you care enough -Marian Wright Edelman

Following the murders of Sean Bell, Trayvon Martin, Eric Garner, Victor White, etc. etc. etc., the murder of Michael Brown by the police in Ferguson has been weighing heavily on us. Feeling more than a little helpless about the state of racial inequality, Paul created a beautiful and heartbreaking response: a three movement suite, entitled A Suite For Souled People featuring Elucid, Curly Castro and Billy Woods.

"Souled People" is both a reference to African Americans as soul brothers and sisters and as the descendants of slaves - “sold people.” Paul’s family has traced their family lineage from their arrival on some of the earliest slave ships to when they purchased their freedom in the 19th century. My family has also traced our lineage. Back to when mine were slave owners. In some respects, it’s heartening to see how far things have come in the past 150 years. But just because we don’t enslave people anymore doesn’t mean that we all have the same freedoms.

Paul and I know we want to have children one day. As each of these tragedies has repeatedly lacked the judicial response deserved, the reality of having a black child in America has begun to sink in. My children will be faced with so many difficult situations that I was never exposed to during my own childhood.

When I was still dating Paul, I heard the following claim more than a few times: this world is hard enough so why make it more difficult for myself and my children. Basically, I should choose to “stay white” and not deal with those injustices; the implication being that this is just the way the world is and there is nothing you can do to change it, so let it stay “their” problem.

If society really is as horrible as they seem to think, then thank goodness I found such a strong and caring person to help me navigate it. It seems more critical to find someone you can trust than accommodate a bunch of people you don’t. At the end of the day, the world is scary and hard for everyone.

I recently read an article from the website, Black and Married with Kids. Curious about a family website intended only for black people, I started browsing. And then I found an article that made me realize this website was for me too. Entitled How I’m Preparing My African American Son to Live in Today’s Society, it’s a mother’s guide to instilling confidence in her black son, as well as her advice on how to be safe, including a section about interacting with the police. I recommend reading it. It reminded me of Woods’ verse in the third section of the suite:

“but it's on you Boy to keep those hands in plain sight
Don't touch your belt
reach for your wallet
or happen to be holding your cell
normal speech is a yell yelling is a reach for the gun
silence an admission of guilt
Don't try to walk away
if you're running then run!
if you're smart play dumb
Don't get caught in the slums or a nice neighborhood you ain't from
if you need help Don't call 911”

The first time I heard those lyrics, I cried. Because we’ve been shown time and time again that this is a reality for young black men.

When we decide that some people are less worthy of basic human rights, whether based on race, gender, sexual orientation, nationality, etc., we lose a little bit of our own humanity and we pass along that inequality to the next generation. Not to mention, fostering a corrupt police force can’t be good for anyone in the long run. We need to be able to hold people accountable, as much as we need to listen to alternative perspectives.

Celebrating Two Years!

Photography by Edwina Hay

As of today, we have been married for two years! Sometimes it feels way longer, but I mean that in the best way possible. We were at our friends Matt and Marissa's wedding this past Friday, and a picture was taken of us that I think captures how we are already a seventy year old couple loudly bickering in public. Sigh, I thought it would take so much longer before it came to that. But I got 'pinions (something I state frequently when giving my 'pinions), and Paul either agrees or disagrees. Clearly, I think this was a moment of disagreement...

Our friends' wedding was actually more of an elopement. Matt referred to it as a guerrilla wedding, which was pretty accurate. They invited friends to meet them at a bar they frequent to witness and celebrate as one of their online-ordained friends married them. The bar took it in stride and managed to find some Hostess cupcakes, Oreos and whipped cream that they made into an impromptu wedding cake for the couple. It ended up being a perfect night celebrated exactly how they wanted to celebrate it.

Because it was an elopement, they did away with all of the wedding traditions. But seeing as Matt was best man at our wedding, Paul dubbed himself best man of theirs. And as a wedding gift, Paul arranged for a photographer friend of ours to shoot their wedding. We know how much we loved remembering the night as we looked through all the pictures, not to mention seeing all the moments we missed! Plus it would be something that they could share with friends and family that weren't able to be there. We got a sneak peak, and considering how much joy and fun and spontaneity was captured in the pictures, I'm pretty confident that they will be thrilled with them. 

Their wedding made me nostalgic, so I went through and found some of my favorite moments from ours:

When the whole church erupted in cheers as we were announced husband and wife

This moment

When this little girl asked me if I was a princess

When I got to make out in the park with this handsome fella

Continuing a family tradition and having Paul's uncle and aunt perform at our cocktail hour

Dancing to our wedding song Sleepwalk by Santo & Johnny

Dancing with Glo- the ultimate dancing queen

Belting my heart out with my Texas girls to our favorite Country songs

Paul booty dancin' me until I noticed everyone was watching 

Rappers With My Ducky Pillow - The Mo Niklz Edition

When I first started my blog, I began it with a post called Rappers With My Ducky Pillow. I had hoped for it to be a recurring post, but over the past year we haven’t hosted as many rappers as we have in previous years. Maybe they are fearful of me stalking them while they sleep? That’s fair. Luckily, Mo Niklz crashed on our couch the night of PremRock’s album release party and I was able to revive the series!

In case anyone thinks I’m a really big creep, Mo was aware that this would happen. No Mo Niklz were eMOtionally harmed by the taking of this photograph.

For those of you who don’t know Mo. He’s a DJ based out of Connecticut, but he seems to DJ most of the hip hop events in the tri-state area. There is rarely a NYC show that I go to where Mo isn't behind the turntables. After winning the title in 2012, he was nominated as a finalist for best DJ again this year in the Connecticut Music Awards. Good luck Mo!

He is also a big fan of “Mo” puns- as seen in this charming photograph of Mo Niklz with monocles. When meeting him, the easiest way to his heart is through a good Mo pun. For more on Mo's music or for Mo merch, check out his bandcamp.

Professional Shout Outs

In my last post, I joked about how I tone down my work attire on days when I also have rap shows in the evenings. But sometimes when you have the annual Silver Society dinner to attend before your rap show, you don’t have that option. Then you have to show up to the rap show in your most professional business attire. Occupational hazard.

It’s always a bit of a shock to the system to go from my work events to Paul’s work events, but I kinda love it. It reminds me of how much we expand each others world views. At the Silver Society dinner, we heard a talk on some of the silver from the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s recent catalog of their American silver collection. When I was in grad school, I spent a year long internship at the Met doing research on colonial silver for this catalog, so it was a topic near and dear to my heart. I formed great relationships with the two silver curators there, so I was super honored when they both thanked me for my work during their lecture. I got a shout out in a room full of silver curators, scholars, and researchers from major museums and institutions across the world. I felt like the coolest nerd in the room.

PremRock

But as soon as the lecture and dinner were over, I hopped in a cab and raced to Williamsburg to get to PremRock's release show for his new album, A Clean, Well-Lighted Place. It's Prem’s fifth album, all of which have been engineered by Paul, and there was no way I was going to miss celebrating that achievement! Prem always puts on a fantastic show, and this new album is some of his best work. You can buy it for only $5 on his bandcamp. One of my coworkers came, liked what she heard, and bought two of his albums. Maybe we’ll be listening to rap (instead of classical) in the silver department soon?

Willie Green & PremRock

Prem asked Paul to join him on stage to perform a few oldies from their album, PremRock & Willie Green. Following a glowing introduction from Prem, Paul took the stage to a crowd chanting his name. It’s a good feeling to be celebrated for your work. I imagine the exhilaration he felt was equivalent to mine as I got shouted out at the Silver Society. I kid, I kid. Kind of.

So here’s my shout out to all the musicians that night- PremRock, Willie Green, Armand Hammer, Curly Castro, Zilla Rocca, Karma Kids, and Mo Niklz. This isn’t a hobby for these guys. This is their passion, their calling, and they put in the work. A special congratulations to PremRock, who treats his pursuit of music with the up-most professionalism. He is very deserving of all of his success.

Corporate by Day, Rap Show by Night

Dressing is always tricky when I know I’m going straight from work to a rap show. Occasionally, I’ll bring my evening outfit to work and change before leaving. Obviously I prefer not changing in a bathroom stall, so I've reached back to my Cosmo magazine days to try and choose clothes that “transition from day to night”. Mostly I just throw a blazer over evening outfits and that’s a pretty quick fix. Or sometimes I wear work skirts over mini dresses and then lose the skirt before I head out.

It didn't use to be as difficult. Working in the arts generally means a more relaxed office attire, so I could get away with wearing trendier outfits on rap show nights. But now that I work in an auction house, it’s pretty corporate. Blazers, suits, business attire. But on rap nights, sacrifices must be made and I might not look as professional as usual.

Corina Corina’s release party for her album, The Free Way, was last Wednesday night. Paul produced the album and was involved from start to finish, so it was almost as important a night for him as it was for her. Which meant I had to look fresh. After tearing through my closet, I found a black and white patterned dress and paired it with a clunky gold-tone necklace. Inappropriately tight for work, so I threw on a long sweater that came off as soon as I walked into the venue. Done.

This is the second album they've done together, and it’s clear there is a lot of mutual trust. She gave Paul freedom to experiment and get creative with the production on this one. Paul and I have been really into heavily produced albums lately. After Paul made his album, We Live In The Future, we started noticing how many major label artists were also experimenting with beat changes and more elaborate arrangements. Justin Timberlake’s 20/20 Experience, both of Lana Del Rey’s albums, and most recently Pharrell’s GIRL. We listened to those albums a lot, and they were a source of inspiration for the production on Corina’s album. And allow me to have a brag moment, but Village Voice just called Paul one of East Coast's indie rap "it"-producers.

Paul also acted as musical director for the show. It was Corina’s release, so he wanted her on stage all night. She was joined by her four guest artists (rapper Henry Canyons even flew in from LA!), who also performed their own material. Paul arranged their solo sets to follow the joint songs they had with Corina. Which meant that she got to keep getting back on stage to perform instead of having a designated set time. I don’t think Corina’s smile could have been any bigger.

I know how much work goes into this, and I am so proud of how it sounds. The album's been on repeat on my iPod since it dropped, which is impressive, considering I've heard it a million times over the past year. But I've come to love listening to the transformations as an album evolves and gets fleshed out. When an album is finished, it's always something worth celebrating. And getting dressed up for.

Pictures from Corina Corina's release show. All photography © 2014 c. bay milin:

Corina Corina performing The Free Way

Melissa Czarnick on America, America

Willie Green, Corina Corina, and Johnny October

Dan Dillinger

billy woods

Angi3

Henry Canyons

Corina Corina and the perpetually mysterious billy woods

On Becoming Mrs. Green

So I didn’t change my name when Paul and I got married. It was never something I planned on doing. My mom never changed her name, so I grew up assuming I would keep mine too. Plus I’ve been working and building my professional network in New York City for almost eight years, and changing my name now seemed counterintuitive. Not to mention the paperwork nightmare that seems to be involved with changing your name. Willfully going to the DMV? No thanks.

me at work

But I was surprised by the reactions of some of our friends and family. Some thought it might be confusing for our future children. I can honestly say it never confused me that my parents didn’t share a last name. I knew my parents were married and that they loved each other and that was that. My dad didn’t wear his wedding band (he’s not a jewelry wearing type of man) and that didn’t confuse me either! It was also suggested that it would appear like I didn’t respect my man or that Paul’s masculinity would be challenged. Please. Paul’s ego is just fine. Especially concerning my love and respect. And it's not like I get upset if I'm called Mrs. Womack or anything. It just probably means you don’t know me that well.

Paul at work

I am, however, loving being Mrs. Green. Since a lot of people in the rap scene only know Paul as Willie Green, I’m ‘Green’s wife’ by default. Just last week, Paul and I were out with Corina Corina celebrating the completion of her second album. She got a phone call from a fellow musician and when asked who she was out with, she answered “the Greens”. I thought it was great. I'm good with being Mrs. Green.

People often jokingly ask me what my rap name would be, and I never have an answer for them. That’s Paul’s world, and I don’t pretend like I actually belong there on my own. I’m able to ride off Paul’s street cred as his wife, but let’s be real, Paul translates slang for me all the time.

But it’s more than street cred by osmosis. We both have our own identities, especially within our professional spheres. Paul’s happens to be a rap world- one where he’s spent years building his reputation and where he's earned his respect. And I’m proud of being Mrs. Green. When he’s in my world, he better be damn proud to be Mr. Merrill.

My Rap Video Debut

Mister E, Nasa, and the dad

So I have officially made an appearance in a rap video. A rite of passage as a rap wife? Our friend and rapper, Uncommon Nasa, is putting out a music video for his song “Twenty-Two” and needed extras. Since I hate being filmed, I had no intentions of volunteering. But Nasa asked Paul to be one of the main characters and when I heard that the extras had no lines and needed zero acting skills, I figured I might as well spend the afternoon with the hubs and help out a friend.

The video starts with a group of people in an elevator heading back to their respective apartments. As they get off the elevator, the film follows several of the characters and reveals their individual (and depressing) stories. The storyline doesn’t have the most cheerful premise, but I guess not too many rap songs are about puppies and rainbows.

Paul’s character was a pilot, so he had a Halloween shop jacket and hat to wear. When you squinted past the polyester suit, he looked very Denzel. Somehow, Paul seems to be finding himself in a lot of situations lately where he’s had to dress in costume. Which I have been finding incredibly entertaining. Sadly, as an extra, I did not get a costume.

In addition to a few other friends and rappers who volunteered to be in the video, Nasa also had a few Craigslist responders. A father and daughter agreed to be characters. The dad had been an extra in a number of big box-office movies and NY based TV series, so it was clearly a hobby he was passionate about. And then there was Mister E, a giant bodyguard-looking guy. Paul assumed he was a rapper with the name Mister E- thinking it was a play on ‘Mystery’- but he’s just another guy who likes his time in front of the camera while simultaneously maintaining a little anonymity.

Days like that are when I am reminded of all the interesting characters that make up this city. People's lives are so much more nuanced than what you can see on the surface. Which I guess is the point of the song. Life lessons through raps! I might have to consider being in more rap videos. Especially if I get free bagels again.