Adventures at Spa Castle

For years, almost every single one of my lady friends and I have talked about making the trek to Spa Castle in Flushing, Queens. And finally, this past weekend, a dream came true! We went for my friend Beth’s bachelorette festivities. We imagined it to be something in between one of those cheesy all inclusive resorts (think Sandals) and a mall. It did not disappoint.

A $45 entrance fee grants you access to a four floor complex of saunas, salons, restaurants, buffets, and a rooftop of pools, including one with a swim-up bar. Of course, the food and salon services are extra, but you get these watch bands that you swipe to tally up all the charges. Totally dangerous. After obtaining our watches, going through a security checkpoint (is this normal?), and years of built up expectations, we had finally made it!

The weirdest/most hilarious part of the whole experience is the one-size-fits-all “uniforms” they force everyone to wear around the complex when not in the pools. The uniforms are knee-length, elastic waistband cotton shorts and t-shirts with “Spa Castle” on them. Or if you’re 5 feet tall like my friend Deb, the shorts are capri length. Oh and of course the women's uniforms are pink and the men's are blue. We all looked like prisoners of Spa Castle roaming from floor to floor and standing in line at the Korean buffet in our ill fitting, matching uniforms.

We spent most of the day at the rooftop pools. The pools are lined with built in chairs with massage jets, which are awesome but a little too powerful. Luckily there are handlebars to hold on to so you can stay put. And then there is also the jacuzzi that we coined the “mountain dew pool” cause of the bright neon green lights that make it look like a giant vat of bubbling mountain dew.

The pools are simultaneously super family friendly and really sleazy. In spite of the “Public Morals” signs posted around Spa Castle, which list rules like “no overt public displays of affection”, we saw many couples making out in the spa pools. There were more than a few times we suspected something was going on underneath the water that we couldn't see. The condom wrapper that floated by may have confirmed our suspicions...

Spa Castle is open 6am-12am every day, so you can really make a day of it. They even have a nap room filled with beds, which was actually at capacity when we peeked in. People really need to get their $45 worth of Spa Castle, ya know? As for us, after six hours there, we staggered out exhausted and hungover from our daiquiris at the swim up bar.

Spa Castle surpassed all my expectations. It was way more ridiculous than I could have ever imagined. Would I recommend it to others? Absolutely.